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Reviewer expectations and etiquette

Hi all:

My present problem is this: I met someone on the internet who is part of an indie band. After going to his site, I liked his CD and asked if I could review it. He sent me the CD. I did an interview with him and got it posted on www.blogcritics.com 
I figure he gave me the CD to listen to and to review it. So I accomplished my part of the bargain.

Then, because 
1) we had developed a kind of friendly acquaintance and 
2) because I had seen his work and 
3) because he spoke of faith (Mahatma Gandhi) and intangible stuff in life

I figured I'd send him to some of my writings around the web:

my blog www.darkparables.blogspot.com where I also talked about living life by faith (although I am a Christian and he is and American Hindu/Buddhist.  
My angel story about an angel encounter I had when I was a kid.

Excerpt from the first chapter of my soon-to-be-published novel.  http://www.carolemcdonnell.com/CMExcerpts.htm#WindFollower

He did not answer my email. Yet I emailed him about something else -- having to do with his album-- and he answered that email.

Now, I'll grant that we really had no bargain about him looking at MY work. I really am upset about this. I find myself saying "don't cross the line and become friends with anyone you're going to review." There is one zone...the public zone...and there is the social zone. He was someone I was doing a social thing for. He doesn't owe me to look at my writing. But I feel that etiquette demands that he at least should give a corresponding look at something I (another creative type) asked him to look at.
Also, I feel that when someone doesn't say anything about one's work, it's because they are trying to be polite because they hate one's writings.

Also, I feel as if there is some arrogance on his part. He talked all about his hindu-buddhist spirituality, yet I ask him to look at something we both had in common -- LIVING BY FAITH and because I'm a Christian he belittled what I had to say. Of course this is all my assumptions. But it does bug me that he hasn't answered. 

So, should I be so upset? Should I wait a month or so for his commentary? Am I right to feel hurt? Or to expect some kind of give-and-take reciprocation? Do I have a right to be upset? Isn't it really my own assumption about etiquette that is getting my panties all in a bunch? Isn't it also my own assumption about why he hasn't answered me that is also upsetting me? Any comments?

Current Mood: confused confused

2 comments or Leave a comment
From: (Anonymous) Date: June 5th, 2007 06:37 am (UTC) (Link)


It may be nice to reciprocate interest in each other's work, but I kind of write off his disinterest in the fact that he is young and male. Texting has become so popular to this generation of males because they don't have to invest themselves in it. It's quick and gets the contact over fast. On the other hand, he could just be very, very busy. I read your review at blogcritic and enjoyed it. I was googling dobro and found it. Your book looks interesting, also. Good luck with it and being published.
scifiwritir From: scifiwritir Date: September 16th, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: etiquette

Thanks so much for this email. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply. Perhaps you're right about youth and not replying. Thanks for the good wishes for Wind Follower
2 comments or Leave a comment